Small child

How do parents grow thanks to the children?

How do parents grow thanks to the children?



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We used to look at parent-child relationships from the perspective of mom and dad - a love giver, supervisor, guardian whose task is to stimulate, look after, provide help and advice, without taking into account the obvious impact in the other direction - from child to parent.

In this approach, ignoring the influence of a daughter or son on the development of mother and dad, the parent stands above the child, is naturally wiser than him. However, this understanding has a major disadvantage - it doesn't take into account how children change us parents. And they do it in a fundamental way.

The child enriches the personality of the parents

When I heard the first statement that a woman matures only when she becomes a mother, I was outraged. I thought that the person who said that was very unfair. In time, I understood what she meant. Of course, this happened when I gave birth to a child myself.

Psychologists do not hide that the fact of becoming a parent enriches and deepens personality with new dimensions. It facilitates the attitude of an altruistic donor, teaches skills that cannot be overestimated - selfless love.

It is the birth of a demanding baby that makes us realize the simple and complicated truth, how much you have to give your child - not only in a material sense, but above all in a spiritual sense, that it could develop well and grow into a "good man". As mom and dad we stand against the challenge of continuous refilling of internal tanks, which only when they are filled to the brim allow the child to function well. Where there is a lack of love, trouble always begins: sometimes visible at first glance in the form of rebellion and "rude behavior", at other times directed against each other revealing themselves in silent body mutilation, neurosis, nutrition problems.

Love and support are easy to give when the child is calm. It is much harder when it is "difficult", recalcitrant, not listening, and that's when he needs it most. This children teaches parents all the time - exposing their nerves and feelings to constant testing - selfless love, that is, love for just being and not for something, e.g. appropriate behavior or life under their dictation. When parents come out of these constant tests of character with a defensive hand, they give the child the potential for life - a sense of security and a belief in being a valuable person who can do almost anything in life.

Mother, will you love me when I refuse to cooperate from morning to night? Will you hug me when I yell at you for not loving you?

The more doubts a child has about his parents' love, the more difficult the challenges will be. It's natural…

Parenthood teaches caring and pedagogical attitudes, develops a sense of responsibility. Is the greatest lesson of patience.